The Buffy Spoofs
by Lizzy2
Summary: a few songs i rewrote to suit out Buffy character..only the first 4..but then..heehe..i wrote the rest
1. I dont want to be Slayed-By Angel

Subj:
**(no subject) **

Date:
12/29/01 5:10:22 PM Eastern Standard Time

From:
XvTheChosen0nevX

To:
XvTheChosen0nevX
  
  
I Don't want to be Slayed  
dear readers..this song was the first ever written..by me and my sister..it's about the time buffy and riley hook up..and as a b/a worshipper..u get the point.   
  
Darla's My sire  
The one vampire  
Believe when I say  
I want her to be slayed  
But we are two worlds apart  
Can't reach to your heart  
When you say  
That I want to be slayed  
  
CHORUS:  
Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but a neckache  
Tell me why  
Ain't nothin' but Buffy Bait  
Tell me why  
I never wanna hear you say  
I want to be slayed  
  
  
  
CHORUS  
Now I can see that we've fallen apart  
From the way that it used to be, yeah  
No matter the distance  
I want you to know that  
Deep down inside of me  
  
Darla's my sire  
The one vampire  
You are, you are, you are, you are  
Don't wanna hear you say... Don't wanna hear you say,  
Ain't nothin' but a neckache  
Ain't nothin' but Buffy Bait  
(Don't wanna hear you say),  
I never wanna hear you say,  
I want to be slayed  
Tell me why,  
Ain't nothin' but a neckache  
Tell me why,  
Ain't nothin' but Buffy Bait  
Tell me why,I never wanna hear you say,  
(Don't wanna hear you say),  
I want o be slayed  
Tell me why...  
Ain't nothin' but a neckache  
Ain't nothin' but Buffy Bait  
Tell me why,I never wanna hear you say,  
(Never wanna hear you say it),  
I want it that way I want it that way   
  
Your are..my Buffy  
The one who loves me  
Believe when I say  
Riley is Gay...  
  
  
  



	2. Spike went down to Sunnydale- Spike

Subj:
**(no subject) **

Date:
12/29/01 4:56:49 PM Eastern Standard Time

From:
XvTheChosen0nevX

To:
XvTheChosen0nevX
  
  
(spoof of Devil went down to georgia)  
Spike went down to Sunnydale  
  
Spike went down to Sunnydale, he was lookin' for a spell to heal.  
He was in a bind 'cuz he was way behind and he was willin' to make a deal.  
When he came accross this young woman stakin' on a vamp and playin' it hot.  
And Spike jumped up on a gravestone stump and said, "Slaya, let me tell you what."  
I guess you didn't know it, but I know Angel , too.  
And if you care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.  
Now, you stake a good vamp, Slaya, but give the big bad his due.  
I'll bet My Dru: Angel's Childe,cure, in a fight, 'cuz I think I'm better than you.  
The Slaya said, "My name's Buffy" and it might be a sin  
but I'll take your bet; you're gonna regret, 'cause I'm the best that's ever been.  
  
Buffy, rosin up your stake and fight hard,  
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Sunnydale, and Dru has her Tarot cards.  
And if you win, you'll save your Bloody Angel, and I'll loose my Dru  
Oh but Slaya..you know I can kick any ass, and ill prove it to you...  
  
Spike opened up his duster and took out a wooden stake.  
And Peroxide dripped from his hair as he got in a fighting stance.  
And he headed toward a minion and pulled back the stake.  
In a quick blast, the vamp was ash and spike hissed "Piece of Cake"..  
  
When the hottie finished Buffy said Well, you're pretty good, Peroxide head,  
but sit down in that chair right there, and let me show you how it's done.  
  
Buffy drew back her stake  
And made a quick sweap  
In in the end, 3 vamps were down  
and Spike relized his Dru was in deep.  
  
Spike bowed his head because he knew that he'd beat.  
And he laid that wooden Stake on the ground by Buffy's feet.  
And Buffy said, Spike, just come on back if you ever wanna try again.  
I told you once, you son of a b*tch, I'm the best that's ever been.She continued to Patrol ....  
  
Buffy drew back her stake  
And made a quick sweap  
In in the end, 3 vamps were down  
and no more vamps..did they creep.  
  
  
  
  



	3. Dont go knockin at my crypt door! -Spike

Subj:
**(no subject) **

Date:
12/29/01 5:19:00 PM Eastern Standard Time

From:
XvTheChosen0nevX

To:
XvTheChosen0nevX
  
  
**"Don't Go Knocking On My Crypt Door"**  
  
Don't go knock on my crypt door  
Don't go knock on my crypt door   
  
Time is up  
No more cheat n' lie  
No more tears to dry  
You and I, we're like so "bye-bye"  
Finally  
I am over you  
Totally unblue  
And I can hear myself saying  
I am better off without you  
Stronger than ever and I  
I'm tellin' you now  
  
_[CHORUS:]_  
Don't go knockin' on my crypt door  
Gotta stay away for sure  
You say you hate me  
But I ain't buyin' that  
You better get off my back  
Don't go knockin' on my crypt door  
  
I can see  
It's no mystery  
It's so clear to me  
What we had is all history  
It's OK  
I can seat at night.  
It will be alright  
I can hear myself saying  
I am better off without you Badder then ever  
I'm tellin' you now  
  
_[Repeat CHORUS]_  
  
Don't go knockin' on my crypr door  
Don't go knockin' on my crypt door  
Don't go knockin' on my crypt door  
Do what you want  
As long as you don't come back  
Don't go knockin' on my crypt door  
Gotta stay away for sure  
And now I ain't buyin' that  
You better get off my back  
  
_[Repeat CHORUS]_  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Whats my age again? Xander

Subj:
**(no subject) **

Date:
12/29/01 5:26:22 PM Eastern Standard Time

From:
XvTheChosen0nevX

To:
XvTheChosen0nevX
  
  
**"What's My Age Again?" sung by Xander!**  
  
I took her out it was Friday night  
I wore cologne to get the feeling right  
We started making out and she took off my pants  
But then I turned on the Tv  
And that's about the time she went demon on me!  
Nobody likes you when you're 20  
And are still more amused by TV shows  
What the hell is ADD?  
Giles says I should act my age  
What's my age again?  
What's my age again?  
Then later on, on the drive home  
I called the magic shop from a pay phone  
I said I was the cops  
And all her money was gone  
This state looks down on sodomy  
And that's about the time Anya hung up on me  
Nobody likes you when your 20  
And are still more amused by prank phone calls  
What the hell is caller ID?  
Spike says im a Bloody Idiot  
What's my age again?  
What's my age again?  
And that's about time Anya went Demon on me  
Nobody likes you when your 20  
And you still act like you're in Freshman year  
What the hell is wrong with me?  
Buffy says I should act my age  
What's my age again?  
What's my age again?  
That's about the time Anya went Demon on me  
No one should take themselves so seriously  
With many years ahead to fall in line  
Why would you wish that on me?  
I never want to act my age  
What's my age again?  
What's my age again?  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Im a Slayer-Sung By Buffy- Written by Me

Subj:
**(no subject) **

Date:
12/29/01 4:57:45 PM Eastern Standard Time

From:
XvTheChosen0nevX

To:
XvTheChosen0nevX
  
  
Buffy's Song (fast and upbeat)  
  
  
All day all I do  
Is prance around the graveyard  
In my new leather boots.  
Stake and hand  
A ax or too.  
Im going to slay tonight..  
AM I GOING TO GET YOU?!  
  
~~Chrous~~  
Im a slayer  
that's what i do  
I walk around staking evil.  
Boink a good vamp or too.  
Im a slayer   
thats what I do  
So watch out buddy before I stake you!  
  
I run thru graveyards  
Avoid a certain chipped pest.  
Search and destroy  
a vampire nest.  
Chill with the scoobys  
Protect my sister (shes the key!)  
Reaserch too  
How would u like to be me?  
  
~~Chrous~~  
Im a slayer  
that's what i do  
I walk around staking evil.  
Boink a good vamp or too.  
Im a slayer   
thats what I do  
So watch out buddy before I stake you!  
  
Protect Xander after he trys to save me.  
But what do I do.  
When Spike Craves me?  
All i know is a fast trick.  
To avoid him and threaten  
to stake him with a pointy sharp stick!  
  
~~Chrous~~  
Im a slayer  
that's what i do  
I walk around staking evil.  
Boink a good vamp or too.  
Im a slayer   
thats what I do  
So watch out buddy before I stake you!  
  
I got a witch friend, their for me everyday  
hey did you know? She's recently gay?  
Spike built a sex bot.  
That looks like me!  
Did I mention he's a creep?  
  
~~Chrous~~  
Im a slayer  
that's what i do  
I walk around staking evil.  
Boink a good vamp or too.  
Im a slayer   
thats what I do  
So watch out buddy before I stake you!  
  
Xander is a pal.  
Long ago, I was his dream gal.  
Now hes engaged to a vengence demon.  
Also  
Spike can't get in my pants!  
So keep dreamin.  
  
~~Chrous~~  
Im a slayer  
that's what i do  
I walk around staking evil.  
Boink a good vamp or too.  
Im a slayer   
thats what I do  
So watch out buddy before I stake you!  
  
Giles is my watcher..  
He went away  
Now i have to train with Spike everyday.  
But I have to admit one thing!  
Buffybot was right about seeing him naked.  
BING!  
  
~~Chrous~~  
Im a slayer  
that's what i do  
I walk around staking evil.  
Boink a good vamp or too.  
Im a slayer   
thats what I do  
So watch out buddy before I stake you!  
  
Dawn is my sister  
a troublemaker.  
Glory wanted her, but they couldnt take her.  
She makes out with vamp boys.  
Ah! The simple joys.  
  
~~Chrous~~  
Im a slayer  
that's what i do  
I walk around staking evil.  
Boink a good vamp or too.  
Im a slayer   
thats what I do  
So watch out buddy before I stake you!  
  
IM A SLAYER!  
THATS WHAT I DO!  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Sometimes I wish that was me- Sung By Wi...

Subj:
**(no subject) **

Date:
12/29/01 4:57:28 PM Eastern Standard Time

From:
XvTheChosen0nevX

To:
XvTheChosen0nevX
  
  
Willows Song. (slow and soft)   
  
Look at the girl in the mirror  
What do you see?  
A plain girl.  
For she is me.  
Long red plain hair.  
It just can't compare.  
To my love's crush.  
The slayer with the golden hair.  
  
Sometimes I..wish..that was me..  
  
~~Chorus~~  
Sometimes I wounder  
When will it be me?  
My turn  
My way   
Will they ever see?  
Not a brain  
Not a nerd.  
Why not, me?  
  
Sometimes I breakdown.  
In the nights air.  
Watching the beauty queens  
Prance around without a care.  
  
Sometimes I wish..that was me...  
  
~Chorus~  
Sometimes I wounder  
When will it be me?  
My turn  
My way   
Will they ever see?  
Not a brain  
Not a nerd.  
Why not, me?  
  
Sometimes I wounder.  
Is life a cruel joke.  
Vampire and witches.  
A bleached blonde bloke.  
I sit alone in my room  
Trying to find my way.  
But when I speak..  
Its not what I want to say.  
  
Sometimes I wouder.  
Will I love a again.  
Just a shy wall flower.  
Fighting witches and a pagan.  
I sometimes wounder..  
  
Sometimes I wish it was..me  
  
Sometimes I wounder  
When will it be me?  
My turn  
My way   
Will they ever see?  
Not a brain  
Not a nerd.  
Why not, me?  
  
Sometimes I wish it was..me  
  
  



End file.
